“It was one thing to make a mistake; it was another thing to keep making it. I knew what happened when you let yourself get close to someone, when you started to believe they loved you: you’d be disappointed. Depend on someone, and you might as well admit you’re going to be crushed, because when you really needed them, they wouldn’t be there. Either that, or you’d confide in them and you added to their problems. All you ever really had was yourself, and that sort of sucked if you were less than reliable.”
― Jodi Picoult, Handle With Care
Sangat menohok buat saya 
tercenung sekali saya membaca quote ini dari goodreads…
- mungkin karena sedang related banget dengan kondisi saya sekarang…
- mungkin memang karena kebanyakan begitulah yang saya alami…
Terlalu mengandalkan orang lain sering membuat saya terlena *ini bukan lagu dangdut. ciyus!* dan lalu self-awareness nya makin menipis… keenakan.
Dan ketika orang yang diandalkan itu tak dapat lagi diandalkan, maka ya begini ini… bingung.. dan ga tau musti ngapain… musti gimana…
Ini udah berulang kali dan saya tau, saya ga pernah dan mungkin ga akan pernah belajar dari kesalahan ini… karena saya cuma manusia biasa… saya tahu batas-batas kekuatan saya… dan ketika kekuatan saya sudah pushed over the limit…. saya menemui kenyataan, bahwa pada akhirnya saya sendirian lagi… memperjuangkan semuanya…
Tapi buah perjuangan itulah yang selalu saya nantikan dan memberikan semangat serta motivasi pada diri sendiri… ketika saya mampu menemukan solusi dan cara mengatasi kesulitan-kesulitan, itu self-esteem akan meningkat dengan sendirinya… dan saya menikmati ketika saya berhasil berjalan di jalan saya sendiri, bahkan tanpa bantuan dari siapapun…
Self-reliance… akhirnya memang ga bisa dipungkiri… bahwa ga ada yang lain yang dapat diandalkan kecuali diri sendiri…
“Only a weak person needed someone else around all the time.”
― Sarah Dessen, Lock and Key
Exactly ….!!!!!
“You can’t trust other people. If it’s important, you have to do it yourself.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance“You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore…But let there be spaces in your togetherness…Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not of the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.”
― Kahlil Gibran
So… keep moving, Carra…
God never wants you to be the best, He just wants you to do your best, and He will take care of the rest.
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